For some, Dasani is the devil’s water

For some, Dasani is the devils water

Ryan Hutjens, Reporter

Many folks partake in water consumption and know how water tastes different from different bottling companies. Folks can consume water from the garden hose out back, straight from the well, from various bottling companies and maybe even water from a flowing creek. 

The options are endless. 

But, if there’s one kind of water that strikes you differently, or you find yourself trying to avoid, chances are the brand is Dasani. 

Dasani water is sold under the Coca-Cola Company and is the signature bottled water at any big event where Coca-Cola has been contracted to supply refreshments. The bright red Coca-Cola truck houses Mellow Yellow, all the classic Coke flavors, Barq’s Root Beer, Mr Pibb and Powerade. 

However, that big truckload also carries the dreadful Dasani water. 

A quick Google search asking who even likes Dasani water brings up multiple links of reviews, complaints, and people’s opinions. Upon some extensive research, it appears that the hatred for Dasani water is all over the spectrum. 

Some rank it as #1 on their list, and some others rate it fairly low. A Reddit user asked a question back in 2020 asking what was going on with the hatred for Dasani water because Reddit at the time was flooded with Dasani water memes. The post got 6.7 thousand likes at 716 comments. 

The comments consisted of allegations of Coca-Cola putting something in the water to dehydrate you to make you buy more. Because, as mentioned before, it’s often the only water sold at big events, thus bringing in more money for the company selling their other products.

Another thing brought up was how Dasani water was often the only bottled water left in stock at supermarkets back when everyone was buying like crazy from the grocery store because of the widespread belief of a shortage of everyday essentials. 

Later, a Redditor debunked this and said that Coca-Cola does not have their products restocked by supermarket employees, but instead it’s restocked by Coca-Cola representatives  that were described to be more reliable than the supermarket stockers at re-stocking bare shelves.

Some Redditors describe Dasani as pool water and just plain out gross. One Redditor said, “I haven’t drank Dasani water in at least a decade, it tastes so gross.” Another Redditor also mentioned that they feel like it has a weird oily-ness to it. 

Others say they love it, explaining how it just tasted like tap water and even water from their own hometown. 

A poll sent out to the DPHS student body concluded that out of 401 responses, 196 (49.9%) people said they hate Dasani water. Only 34 voted (8.7%) for Dasani water, and the remaining 163 votes (41.5%)  had no opinion on it. 

The poll also asked what do people like instead of Dasani, with Ice Mountain water being the people’s favorite at 125 votes (32.8%). Second came Fiji water, at 107 votes (28.1%) and tap water at 104 votes (27.3%). This concludes that the student body does in fact dislike Dasani water more than not. 

The Dasani water website is littered with fake propaganda about how great Dasani is. There are pictures scattered about the website depicting happy people holding or having a bottle set near them on the homepage of the website. 

A quick run through on their site shows not a single picture of people actually drinking it. In fact, everyone who has a bottle hasn’t even drank out of it. The bottle is still full like it came from the factory. This is ground breaking evidence that even the paid actors won’t take a swig. 

Now, what do the students and staff of DPHS have to say about Dasani? 

Mr. Wolf, ag teacher, says he likes it. 

“It is very refreshing and tastes like the Rocky Mountains,” he said, adding that he feels it is safe to consume. 

Nicholas Manny, a senior, says that Dasani water is not good at all. 

“It tastes like dog piss, not that I would know,” he said. 

Gavin Brault, a senior, says the water is all right. 

“I don’t know why I like it. It’s just water, but it’s expensive,” he said. 

The statistics for Dasani are all over, but many agree that it’s nothing special. It does not come across as anyone’s favorite water. Rather, the public feels as if it’s just another bottle of water. 

Either people hate it or don’t mind it. Only a select few individuals enjoy Dasani. In conclusion, our school campus is relatively safe from the Dasani water drinkers and their corrupt minds.